The Simple Plot of the Cell Saga
by curiousvillage
Summary: this is what happens in the cell saga


KRILLIN: remember THE NAMEK SAGA

THE Z WARRIORS: wasnt that filler

MECHA-FRIEZA, LANDING ON EARTH: no

VEGETA: [badmans menacingly]

[TRUNKS APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE]

MECHA-FRIEZA: its a good thing THE LEGENDARY SUPER SAIYAN only happens once every thousand years

TRUNKS: try watching THE BUU SAGA, asshole

[TRUNKS SLICES MECHA-FRIEZA into a lot of pieces after turning SUPER SAIYAN]

MECHA-FRIEZA: just wait until SUPER...

[FRIEZA DIES]

KING COLD: im here too

[KING COLD dies]

GOKU: and now im here

TRUNKS: androids!

GOKU: androids?

TRUNKS: yeah

TRUNKS: by the way im VEGETA'S son and you get a heart virus and die

GOKU: haha you have a bad dad

TRUNKS: OK

TRUNKS: say hi to GOHANfor me

[TRUNKS GOES BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II]

GOKU: idiot...GRANDPA GOHAN is dead

[EVERYONE TRAINS FOR 3 YEARS]

DR GERO: knock knock its android o clock

[SOUTH CITY is attacked by GERO and ANDROID 19]

YAMCHA: heh...foolish androids...ill show you my Ultimate Death Wolf Fang Fist

[YAMCHA gets punched through the chest by GERO]

GOKU: ah man...lets go to THE DESERT

[THEY do]

GOKU: im gonna go SUPER SAIYAN

ANDROID 19: oh no

[GOKU gets the HEART VIRUS]

VEGETA: its okay KAKAROTTO i can go super saiyan too

GOKU: what the hell is a super saiyan two

[VEGETA kills #19 and GOKU fucks off to KAME HOUSE or something]

GERO: this sucks

[GERO runs away to his SECRET LAB]

PICCOLO: this sucks

[PICCOLO and the other Z-WARRIORS chase GERO]

KRILLIN: trunks i found him and the secret lab

TRUNKS: hey does he have other androids because he isnt from my future

[GERO ACTIVATES ANDROIDS 17 AND 18]

ANDROID 17: hey

[#17 kills GERO]

Z-WARRIORS: ah damn what

ANDROID 18: anyways theres another android and we are going to set that android free

TRUNKS: if they set that android free it will be the end of all of us

KRILLIN: wh

TRUNKS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[TRUNKS goes SUPER SAIYAN and blows up GERO'S LAB]

TIEN: did it work

ANDROID 18: no

[#18 breaks SUPER SAIYAN VEGETA'S arms]

ANDROID 17: lets steal a car and kill goku

what do you think 16

ANDROID 16: birds

[THE Z-WARRIORS flee to KAMI house]

TRUNKS: at least SUPER ANDROID 13 isnt canon

ROSHI: so what happened in the future

TRUNKS: even KRILLIN fell to the might of the androids

THE Z-WARRIORS: what

TRUNKS: _even KRILLIN fell to the might of the_ _androids_

GOHAN: what happened to me

TRUNKS: you lost an arm

GOHAN: i dont know why i asked

BULMA: found a time machine

oh by the way im with VEGETA and we had a kid named TRUNKS

i should have told you earlier but i dont remember the exact pacing

TRUNKS: ok

[TRUNKS and GOHAN look at TIME MACHINE]

TRUNKS: okay it looks like mine but its not

GOHAN: look at this egg

BULMA: it looks big enough to fit a cell jr in there

GOHAN: or a saibaman

[anyways, PICCOLO is a KAMI'S LOOKOUT]

PICCOLO: FUI

KAMI: SION

PICCOLO AND KAMI: HA!

NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO: I am NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO

[back at KAMI HOUSE]

NEWS ANCHOR ON TV: im getting reports that the androids arent the main antagonists in this saga

[? kills NEWS ANCHOR]

[NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO goes to WEST CITY or where that takes place]

?: ah PICCOLO its you

NEITHER KAMI NOR PICCOLO: actually im neither k

?: Stop

[PICCOLO beat up CELL, probably for an EPISODE or TWO]

?: anyways my name is IMPERFECT CELL

PICCOLO: why the imperfect part

IMPERFECT CELL: because im self conscious

[IMPERFECT CELL uses the SOLAR FLARE to run away]

GOKU: im better now also i perfectly understand what is going on

hyperbolic time chamber time

GOHAN, TRUNKS, AND VEGETA: yeah okay

[PICCOLO fights ANDROID 17]

ANDROID 17: man this is a really cool fight i sure hope someone doesnt show up and

IMPERFECT CELL: this is my saga

[IMPERFECT CELL ABSORBS 17 and BECOMES SEMIPERFECT CELL]

SEMIPERFECT CELL: dont worry he'll be back in gt

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

ANDROID 18: theres always the universal survival arc

TIEN: you guys need to stop CHAIOTZU is trying to sleep

[TIEN uses the NEO TRI BEAM on SEMIPERFECT CELL like FIVE TIMES]

SEMIPERFECT CELL: anyways

why do i feel a part of me died

[FLASHBACK]

TRUNKS: hey lets go kill PRESENT CELL

KRILLIN: ok

[THEY do]

SEMIPERFECT CELL: that explains it

ANDROID 16: hey 18 you should leave before CELL absorbs you

ANDROID 18: nah

TIEN: please get out

ANDROID 18: ehhh

PICCOLO: fucking go

ANDROID 18: hol up a minute

SEMIPERFECT CELL: seriously just go its to soon to end this saga now

ANDROID 18: fine

[#18 runs away]

[back on THE LOOKOUT]

GOKU: sure is good to know SUPER SAIYAN GRADES

VEGETA, TRUNKS, AND GOHAN: please shut the fuck up

[VEGETA AND TRUNKS go to fight SEMIPERFECT CELL, GOHAN and GOKU enter the TIME CHAMBER]

VEGETA: no longer am i VEGETA...i am...ALL OF ME

i mean

SUPER VEGETA

SEMIPERFECT CELL: thats cute

[SUPER VEGETA kicks the shit out of SEMIPERFECT CELL]

SEMIPERFECT CELL: yeah well i bet i would be pretty strong if i absorbed ANDROID 18 and become PRETTY MUCH PERFECT CELL

SUPER VEGETA: okay

[CELL absorbs ANDROID 18 and becomes SERIOUSLY, HE MIGHT AS WELL BE PERFECT, RIGHT? CELL]

PERFECT CELL: okay im ABSOLUTELY PERFECT now

there is no way i could even be a little better

[PERFECT CELL beats up SUPER VEGETA]

TRUNKS: oh yeah watch this

[TRUNKS goes SUPER SAIYAN GRADE 3 or whatever the BUFF SUPER SAIYAN FORM]

BUFF TRUNKS: fight me

PERFECT CELL: okay

[PERFECT CELL WINS]

PERFECT CELL: im going to hold a THE CELL GAMES on NBC

MR. SATAN: nows my chance

[meanwhile in the TIME CHAMBER]

GOKU: GOHAN remember all those times you got mad

then suddenly you were stronger than all the bad guys

just do that

GOHAN: fuck off dad what does that even mean

[GOHAN goes SUPER SAIYAN 2 for like HALF A SECOND, FAINTS]

GOKU: sweet

[THE STUFF BEFORE THE CELL GAMES happen]

THE Z WARRIORS AND ALSO MR. SATAN: here we are at the CELL GAMES

PERFECT CELL: i just beat mr satan in the time it took to write the last line

GOKU: okay then im up

PERFECT CELL: SMASH THAT LIKE THEN

[GOKU uses INSTANT TRANSMISSION KAMEHAMEHA]

PERFECT CELL: whoa

GOKU: i give up

GOHAN should go next

PERFECT CELL: ok

[PERFECT CELL beats up GOHAN, creates CELL JRS]

CELL JRS: Our lives are worth nothing if we are not dismantling our enemies on the battlefield

ANDROID 16: im blowing myself up

this shit sucks

BULMA: whoops forgot to say

no more bomb inside you

PERFECT CELL: okay

[PERFECT CELL blows #16 to pieces]

ANDROID 16'S HEAD: GOHAN go SUPER SAIYAN TWO already

[PERFECT CELL KILLS ANDROID 16]

PERFECT CELL: aaaaaaaaaand you fuck up again GOHAN

GOHAN: this sucks

this really sucks

PERFECT CELL: hey by the way even thought you're 12 should i call you TEEN GOHAN

GOHAN: DIE

[GOHAN GOES SUPER SAIYAN 2]

GOHAN: you seriously made a huge mistake

[GOHAN kills all the CELL JRS BRUTALLY]

PERFECT CELL: what

[GOHAN kicks CELL so hard ANDROID 18 is freed and cell goes back to SEMIPERFECT CELL]

SEMIPERFECT CELL: ALRIGHT

[SEMIPERFECT CELL bloats himself up in an attempt to blow up the EARTH]

GOKU: okay i gotta fix this

EVERYONE: GOKU are you about to get killed

GOKU: yeah

but im taking KING KAI with me

[GOKU instant transmissions SEMIPERFECT CELL to KING KAI'S PLANET, CELL explodes, killing GOKU, CELL, and KING KAI]

GOHAN: well at least thats over

[CELL regenerates now SUPER PERFECT CELL, kills TRUNKS]

VEGETA: this sucks

GOHAN: uhhhhhhhhhhh

SUPER PERFECT CELL: check this sick trick gohan

[SUPER PERFECT CELL breaks GOHAN'S ARM]

GOHAN: now im gonna have to use the One Handed KAMEHAMEHA MK II

[THEY fight some MORE]

SUPER PERFECT CELL: okay im just going to do a SOLAR KAMEHAMEHA and kill the EARTH

GOHAN: no

[a BEAM STRUGGLE begins]

SUPER PERFECT CELL: its too bad im perfect so you cant beat me

GOHAN: ah bummer i guess the earth is dead now

[THE Z WARRIORS use the last of their KI to distract SUPER PERFECT CELL]

SUPER PERFECT CELL: say bye bye

GOKU'S GHOST (GHOSTKU): okay GOHAN let me do everything for you

[GOHAN uses the FATHER-SON KAMEHAMEHA]

SUPER PERFECT CELL: BUT IM SUPER PERRRRRRRRRRRFFFECT

[SUPER PERFECT CELL is VAPORIZED at the SUBATOMIC LEVEL]

GOHAN: well at least he won't be coming back as a robot

[THE Z WARRIORS TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS]

KRILLIN: im just gonna make one wish real quick okay

Z WARRIORS: yeah okay

KRILLIN: bring android 18 back and take the bomb out of her chest

TRUNKS: yeah im going home

VEGETA: bye bye man

SHENRON: anyways y'all get like 78 wishes right whats your last one

EVERYONE: bring GOKU back

GOKU: nah

EVERYONE: wha

GOKU: im gonna go do filler stuff in OFFWORLD

TRUNKS: okay well cameraman forget about them for now come with me to my future

[TRUNKS goes back to his TIMELINE]

FUTURE ANDROIDS 17 AND 18: hey TRUNKS

[TRUNKS kills both of the FUTURE ANDROIDS]

TRUNKS: bye

[TRUNKS finds CELL]

FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: wait how did you know

TRUNKS: the nightmare is over CELL

FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: no

TRUNKS: DIE

FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL: NO

[TRUNKS kills FUTURE IMPERFECT CELL]

TRUNKS: if you think about it the CELL I just killed is from my TIMELINE, and the CELL KRILLIN and I killed was from the PRESENT TIMELINE, while the SUPER PERFECT CELL was from a TIMELINE where I failed

[TRUNKS FROM XENOVERSE SHOWS UP]

XENO TRUNKS: you need to shut your mouth right now

TRUNKS: remember when this was an arc about my struggle

[back to the MAIN TIMELINE]

GOKU: everyone know TORIYAMA wanted dragon ball to end at the

[TOEI breaks through MY WINDOW]

TOEI: thought you could get away with making dragon ball content without going through us, huh

NARRATOR: can THE AUTHOR overcome the mighty TOEI? will people ever understand GOHAN'S character? can i get a HELL YEAH?

[FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!]


End file.
